“Why on Earth would I leave, if you were everything I wanted you to be?”
It is a break up song. Jorja Smith. It has had a profound affect on me.
It is as if I can see myself more clearly while listening to this song.
As if I am breaking up with myself. A former version desperately clawing back to the top of my consciousness.
Growing wise, to the lies I have been fooling myself with.
Convenient truths. Inconvenient or hard to uncover reasoning.
This song has gotten innumerable rotations in the last 5 days I have known of it.
The most I listen, the worse I feel but the better I will feel.
Accepting the harshness and discomfort in realizing my simpleton nature.
How to improve it? The sickness of losing. The determination to overcome.
Stick to the goals. Stick to the plan. This free flowing thought.
This looming state of anxiety, hours and hours on end…endlessly unnerving me.
This is what is on my mind.